Use the “Why Not?” Mindset to shift perspective.

Over the past eleven years, I have been on a difficult journey of motherhood to a medically complex child, encountering numerous challenges including emergency room visits, hospitalizations, procedures, surgeries, imaging, therapies, and IEPs. This extensive list can be mentally and physically exhausting. Throughout this experience, I developed a strategy to transform my mindset from one of negativity and self-pity to one of empowerment, allowing me to regain control over my circumstances and restore my confidence and self-esteem.

I would like to introduce the "Why Not?" mindset.

When faced with feelings of being stuck or overwhelmed—such as helplessness, anger, frustration, anxiety, and annoyance—it is crucial to acknowledge these emotions and actively work to shift them from negative to positive. The simple phrase “Why not?” can serve as a powerful catalyst for this transformation. For instance, if you find yourself having a bad day and craving a delightful pastry from your local bakery, ask yourself, “Why not?” This mindset shift can be remarkably liberating. Why not indulge in a delicious pastry? Why not take a moment to step away from a difficult day and enjoy that treat? Why not take a walk to the local bakery, clear your mind, and savor the experience? Notice how this reframing can change your perspective?

This perspective is not only liberating but also instills a sense of control that many mothers of children with special needs often find elusive. The reality is that our lives are frequently dictated by the constraints of time—our schedules, obligations, and commitments. By reframing our mindset and our current circumstances, we can alleviate stress and anxiety, allowing us to savor moments that we truly deserve.

As a life coach, I often pose this simple yet powerful question to my clients: “Why not?” This phrase serves to challenge the excuses we create that affect our ability to change our habits, often stemming from fear or a reluctance to embrace change.

Why not make time for yourself?

Why not Facetime your friends when you having a bad day over a text?

Why not go to the movies, instead of streaming it on your couch?

Why not prioritize rest and relaxation over rush?

Why not order takeout, over cooking on an exhausting day?

The next time you consider doing something for yourself—something unconventional or outside your routine—ask yourself, “Why not?” If you cannot find any valid excuses or objections, you have every reason to indulge in that experience and enjoy yourself. At the end of the day we deserve it!